Mandy van Winkle

Do you remember Rip van Winkle? The old man who fell asleep under a tree to wake up to world that had moved on for decades. Totally bestranging. It was the same world and yet nothing he knew was the same anymore.

Moving back to my old hometown has led me back to the future. Over here, I’m Mrs. Mandy van Winkle. I’m in an incredibly strange world where I know almost every street of this town and yet I don’t know anybody here. Everything’s the same and yet small changes have been made which make me drive long detours through town because suddenly roads are one-way traffic only, for instance. It’s bestranging. I feel at home here and at the same time I feel like a total stranger.

It probably has much to do with the after-effects of the move. I’ve worked mornings, afternoons and evenings for months. Add the stress and the tons of things you need to think about all the time and the things that need arranging…it’s been much. I managed well. But this is the silence after the storm. We’re exhausted. I am awake and yet I feel that my body is somewhat asleep. Because when I walk, it feels like I float just above the ground. And when people speak to me, it is as if I hear the voices in the distance. And this morning I was trembling immensely.

I’m still amidst tons of boxes. But today I had no energy to unpack anything at all. I took care of some things that needed arranging and I spent the rest of the day catching up with my favorite tv programme and sitting in the sun with my dogs and cat. Just existing. Very zen…hehe.

Now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I’m sure. A few weeks on in time and I’ll be much, much better. My husband just came home in time for the first time in over a decade because we live that much closer to his job. Hurray! And our new house? Well, it’s great! And I mean it. We’ve worked in it to make it to our taste for two weeks and we’ve lived in it for 3 days now and it feels like home. It’s not yet finished, but it’s awesome!!! We have a lovely garden, dito bedroom, cute bedrooms for the kids and I can’t wait to have my father-in-law over to make my studio!!! But first things first. I’m going to keep taking rest and unpacking. I hope to be up and running in a few weeks from now.

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