Bullying: the sequel

First of all: thank you so much for your kind messages. They really mean something. Like you say, it’s horrible when your children are bullied. Especially since we’ve only lived here for half a year, I’ve been feeling pretty miserable about it with only few people I could talk to.

But, we’ve taken charge and we’re making progress.

In the first place I’ve showed my teeth at school. I’ve made a complaint about the teacher who didn’t do as he’d promised and apparently I managed to rock some boats in other areas as well. My eldest daughter’s teacher has finally announced that he’s going to give her extra learning material and that he’s even going to put together a group of children who’re all a bit above average and give them a special program.

The bully hasn’t been addressed yet, but last Friday I found out the boy wasn’t only hurting my daughter, but other kids in her class as well. Four other children were afraid to go to school, had nightmares and wetted their beds again. I have mixed emotions about it. I’m a little glad that my daughter’s not in this alone. But at the same time it seems even more serious. I mean, how can all of this happen without anyone noticing? What does it say about the school?

The bullying hasn’t stopped completely, but ever since my eldest threatened to knock him over if he so much as touched her little sister, he’s left Nevynn quite at ease. He calls names, but he hasn’t actually touched her. An improvement, I’d say. Nevynn’s still afraid, but on the other hand, she no longer steps aside for him. So, I think she’s beginning to do better. I’m not confident, though, for she refuses to discuss any school matters with me. She probably feels there’s a lot of pressure on her experiences. That the tiniest of incidents may have a huge impact. So, it’s still fingers crossed.

I’m being thrown back and forth about the school. Because, on the one hand stuff like this happens at every school. So, if our school addresses this bully properly and the hassle stops, then why should we take them away from there? Because after all, we have no guarantees about another school. You don’t know exactly what kind of school it is until the kids are settled down there. And pushing the kids into yet another huge change, so soon after the move, is a pretty difficult thing to do. But on the other hand we’ve made lists of things that went wrong at this school and I just don’t know if our faith in this school will ever recover. Espcially because I feel that the teachers don’t respond well enough to signals from parents and children. They don’t seem to feel responsible. And that’s a scary thought in a small society where bullies may pop up anytime.

We have decided to go see two other schools Friday and let our hearts speak. Suppose one school really ticks all the boxes and makes us smile, then we might be convinced. If we’re still at a loss, we may want to take some more time to consider. One principal said: you must only transfer them if the chances for success are very high. When in doubt, don’t do it to them. And I think that’s wise.

So, for now things have quieted down a bit. I’ll keep you posted.

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